Hating People is a BIG no!

i had quarreled with a friend of mine on my theory. 'It's okay to be hated... But Hating people is a BIG no'. He was obviously not positive on this matter. He thought the other way round which i supposed sooo wrong!

He said that ' ppl are obliged to hate sumone... But don't ever let people hate u' Sorry Nai* if ur quote is incorrect! The first sentence is absolutely out of people norm. People are never obliged to hate someone. I know, it's acceptable to hate those odious fellas but to easily hating them...i don't think so!

the second sentence is not that correct even it has got its' point there. 'Dont let people hate u'. We dont possess any power to control someone else's feelings. We can present with nice attitude, adorable and kind-hearted... But, these could not ensure that no one wouldn't hate u! So again.. i disagree..

My doctrine is 'It's okay to be hated'.... i realised it sounded a bit pathetic. I seem to accept people do bad things on me. But, wut can we do?! we are so vulnerable to be hated. Even we try our best, there is still a small chance that we mite get detested!

Then, my second point is ' Don't hate people'. Again, i know..it's full with kindness to the fact that we are avoiding to use the term 'ENEMY' here. I believe, we ourself the one who create enemies. If we don't label someone to be our enemy, then we wont have one. So, try ur best to avoid detesting people.

Guess...thats the issue here!!

My friends are building up their BlogS!

*The picture is just a decoration. To avoid dullness on my posting!

Don't be so prejudiced abt being a blogger. Not all bloggers love their materials to be read. They don't write to smugly show that they've got talent in any field! Its just that, they want to write. Let them be!

I recently added 3 or 4 of my newly-become-blogger friends! cayalah Guys! I have been forcing few others to follow the trail. But maybe too soon to expect their acceptance.

By the way, some of my friends have an inclination towards politics. he mostly writes on the tide of political issue nowadays. Some other is loving to write abt his life.. And, speaking of my blog..i write every aspect in life. Anything that strikes my mind is going to be a big issue to me...

So..do me a favor! Be a blogger!lol

I woke Up Early today!

I have never been expecting im sitting and staring at my laptop now! I had spent my whole nite surfing and wasting time last nite. I slept a quater to 3 and yet i dragged my a$$ outta the bed around 7!

I thought, afta performing solah! I was gonna have a sleepy head but i dint. Instead, i kept turning myself, searching for the sleepy spot in my head but to no avail! So, again i dragged myself outta the blanket and strode to the bathroom. "Take a shower, grab something in the kitchen and write stuff in my blogs" i thought!

Reluctanlty, i followed my mind's order. Not that it owns me... Im just letting them bossing me around..at least today! So, i opened my laptop's slid... Looking for stuff to be written!!! Wut ahhhh??!!

this is me...so tired-looking

i Want To Own A diary

I'm now reading The Diary of A Young Girl by Anne Frank. I haven't gone thru the whole pages in this newly-borrowed book! But, at the first few pages, i started to think that maybe having a diary (and of cos writing on it!) is sumting good and practical in my case.

At least, its beneficial as i love to write. Letting my thoughts out. I can't even call my brain for a halt!It doesn't even know wut PAUSE is?!
So, the Book... Maybe, i suppose its going to be a page-turner book for me!

So, back to the topic. wuts the goodness of possessing a diary?! Yeah, maybe its going to be reproduced as a hit book! Everyone is going to read it and praise me for my words... Then, i am going to exclaim 'yay!!!'

That dint practically sound! I seem to have so much fantasies lately. So, speaking of logic... i suppose by having a small book where i can spill out my thoughts, feelings and act like a storyteller telling on wuts, hows and whens and incident's happening... i can feel ease. You know, there is a saying (not exactly)that when u keep ur feelings deep inside u mite, one day burst!


In a diary... I can even mock anyone i like without feeling guilty (not that i'm intending to) I can say bad things abt politician without a risk of getting handcuffed and detained in ISA. It's a diary afta all aite?! No one can blame me on my opinions! I am not a wrongdoer!


A diary is a perfect tool for me to ring a bell. To help me recollect all those memories that i have in the past. Good or bad... it doesnt matter! Sometimes, when as the time passes, i tend to regret things that i haven't done to sum1. So maybe, i did things...a few but enuff to be reminisced.

Let say, i have a quarrel with a friend of mine. That treasured diary mite help me to think that my buddy was not that bad... Isn't it cool?!

So all this diarying thing..to me..its so simple but needs passion! Wanna do it..go for it!

owh by the way..this is Anne frank

Why do u have to excel?!

What’s wrong to be an average student?! Or maybe... what’s wrong to be normal. This question preys me very often till i get weary... Sometimes! I don’t want to instil a notion in ur mind that I am a good achiever or sumting like that! Be open-minded!
A good student... or an excellent student is adored by parents, friends and lecturers. So why don’t you want to be?! Let’s say you pass this coming PROFESSIONAL exam with an average grade, u are still going to be a licensed doctor. So, why do u have to waste time? Banging ur head to the wall and stuff things into ur brain?!

Okay first of all:
Don’t u think it’s necessary to make urself happier! I pretty sure that being a doctor is so darn breathtaking, but to be someone better than the rest? Wouldn’t that be much nicer? And I reckon, ur smile will be more pure than the rest of the graduates. I know, u have spent most of ur life studying... and this is the moment to treat urself with a REAL success.



Second thing of all:
Maybe ur parents have been complaining so much about ur achievement in the past years since u were really good. But, don’t u feel that they want something more from u.. They know u can do much better but u just hold urslf from doing it! I think, this is the best moment to pay an attribution to those who had been soooooooooo....supportive!



Third thing of all:
They mite be smiling at u.. Saying that u did good (even wut they meant was...u did average)! Teachers and lecturers have been so struggling... working day and nite to ensure that u did well and perform wonderfully in the exam. So, i believe u would like to please them. They didn’t ask for money, or a treat... But i believe they will be soooo thankful if ur achievement is more than they had been expected!




Fourth thing of all:
Rivalry with ur friends has never ended. They are ur friends and at the same time, they are ur rivals...competitor! They pat ur back when u did great job... and maybe they mock you when u did terrible. So, why don’t u just impress them and fite with them to excel!

To all my becoming-year-5 friends.... Lets go and kick some asses!!!

My trial to be a writer. Didn't work!!

One night i woke up... it was so late in the night. I sat at the edge of my bed... thinking..Am i doing the right thing? No one ever told me that i was wrong... but i kept thinking that i did something out of norm.
So i sat down and put my legs down the edge of the bed. My mind was practically not in my skull. It had gone sumwer. Sometimes, in life... we need sum1 to guide us, to avoid us from going astray... like i always did.
So i strode to the kitchen and grasped a cup of plain water. Gulped. That helped! I take a tour to the living room. It was dark and lifeless. I was so lazy to turn on the light. Darkness might help me seeing through this life.
So, i stayed there a bit longer... in mum. Nothing to say... and no one to talk to. I relinquished the cup on my hand. Neatly, i put it on the table. Still thinking. I closed my eyes tightly till it hurt.
What should i do next?!

Awie Celebrating His Off days!

My cousin and I headed to KL Sentral where we planned to meet my friend somewhere there. He had been waiting for hours. So, we better be quick. We practically lied to him, telling him that we were going to be there in any minute when we were actually still struggling waiting for the train.

Finally, we managed to reach there without any hassle. Our friend did not really get mad. He was complaining that he was so empty-bellied and he was about to get famished. Quickly, we directed ourselves to the food court.


Something bad happened though! I had been warning myself to avoid that particular food court since i had several experiences that this food court claimed more cash that it should have. But, it was too little too late when my friends finally brought their food already. They kept complaining that the price was unbelievable.


After stuffing in food and got ourselves nourished, we finally decided that we should manoeuvre ourselves to Midvalley since one of my friends got stuff to purchase for his new college project. We arrived at the basement and waiting for the train. It looked impossible for us to get in since the whole waiting area was crowded with restless passengers.


When train arrived, sumting funny happened. we were about to enter the train when we noticed that the other door had less queued ppl. Then, my friend grabbed thought-to-be-my-arm and said 'The other side..' But guess wut? he had just dragged a total stranger! We laughed out loud when we all realised and left the stranger without saying a word!



The second embarrassing moment was when we took an elevator. Also at KL sentral. i headed the troop. Then, i saw few ppl using the stairs instead of the elevator. So, i sed to my cousin "they are going to get an asthmatic attack before they even reach the top". Then, i found that my cousin didn't even respond. So i turned and saw that another stranger was looking at me with a confused face.

OMG! That was so silly..talking without checking 1st!

Dengue Fever killed me!

When i am saying..."Dengu fever had killed me.." Please don't take it literally (hopefully i won't be contracting this illness). It has actually sumting to do with my exam a while ago.

My first case was brilliant since we had a session and a thorough discussion about this patient a few days back prior to the exam. But the second case was dreadful. I have been imagining myself getting Dengue cases in exam and my imaginations happened to triumph this time.

When i saw the patient, i immediately got the idea that she was having Dengue fever. Felt relieved...but it was temporary. I had to answer all those things about dengue...from the clinical manifestations to the biochemical level.


The horrible part was when i could not answer the last question which i believed would have impressed the examiners if i did. I have to differentiate between haemorrhage in dengu and dengue haemorrhagic fever. I know it sounds silly for not knowing this basic thing..but u gotta believe, it was making me speechless..

Not exactly speechless, i did answer but i was giving crap and bullshitting. Hoping that my guesses would hit the rite spot... but i didn't.

But the whole process was okay...



Owh yeah..i remember yesterday when i sat for the theory paper. The MCQs were pretty okay but the MEQ was dreadful. Acute gastroenteritis did spook me when we were needed to calculate for the fluid replacement... How am i going to know that if i was so indulging myself in so called 'difficult' stuff!!! And obviously it is not as important as AGE.

However, the whole could-not-answer-the-question thing was totally my fault rite? Anyway, Year far had passed. Here we go..FINAL YER!!!!

p.s i would to thank the Lecturers, friends and of cos the patients!!!!

I am about to go for my Short cases

This is the time wen i usually get butterfly in my stomach. I dont feel ease. By the way, nothing to make me feel so!
Wut spooks me the most is the fact that i am going to face small kids to be examined. They are absolutely gorgeous and cute, not cranky or creepy. But their mood is damn unpredictable.

In a minute, they can be so nice and cooperative. But soon (without any warning) they can just wish to kick u out from their sides. Wailing.... moaning...OMG, that really makes me sick...i am afraid of those threats!

So these are things that ought to be done:
1. Bring toys
2. Relax
3. Breath in and out (if u have forgotten how to breath, re-learn)
4. confident
5. SMILE man!


wut scares me is the fact that im so vulnerable to get a patient for a developmental assessment. I am so hating that! Not that i don't like kids progression to be an adult but its so difficult to remember the way they grow. It's so faaaasssssttttt....


by the way, kids should not be blamed for all these... All those intimidations that come are all from me. I am the one who think about it. I am the one who did not do my homework. So, go kids..go awie!!!

i HATE bEiNg sLOw

I have no slightest idea what the heck is happening to our connection lately. It acts like a sloth! Move very so darn slow! When i open a website, it seems like i have to wait for ages before it starts to run stuff!


Sumtymes, i can even finish my toilet business! It really drives me crazy... I cant even view a picture let alone a video in Utube! What am i supposed to do?!

My English Is terrible!!!

When Someone says that My grammar is atrocious...or maybe, says that im having poverty of vocabulary, Im in an agreement with him. It's simply because i have to utilise hours of my spared time to fill up my blog with thots! And i hate the fact that i'm wasting time!

Not that i hate to be an idler or anything... it is just that, those precious times can be salvage for something beneficial. Let say, reading books or digging for new words. Wouldn't that be nicer?!

I'm seriously exhausted of checking the dictionary. Why can't i be someone that says or writes things in English flawlessly. Yeah, i know imperfectness is acceptable! But, Believe me, u wouldn't want to be in my shoes.

What am i bad at:
1. Using conjunction such as...of, in, at...(are these called conjunction??)
2. Using idioms
3..........

i need some help here...HELP ME!

The best won?! American IDOL 7

The American Idol 7 final show made me speechless. It was a hair-raising show! and if i were to choose, i was going to resort to the dice. From the beginning, I had been 'voting' for these 2 Davids to be in the final! Finally they really did!

I do admit this american idol season 7 was terrific. With 2 Davids stood on the final stage! Who would try to defy the fact that both Davids are good and have their own quality.

Mr. Cook with his own style (and guitar) and Mr. Archuleta with his great voice and terrible history of Vocal cord paralysis. They both had been so damn consistent in the whole rounds. Guess, singing are their expertise huh?!

Archuleta sang 'Don't let the sun go down on me' (one of my favorites), 'In this moment' and 'Imagine', John Lennon. The songs were all great!

While, Mr. Cook sang 'Dream big', 'The world I know' and 'I still haven't found What i'm looking for'...

But looking back at the final performance, i would prefer David A to be crowned as the winner. He had been so good that evening. He sang terrificly and i was astounded!

Like Simon said...it had been a difficult decision to make. They both great!

Do it anyway!

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway…


This is wonderful

My Driving Test

It was horrid. Recalling the exact moment when the JPJ officer maneuvered the car back to the driving school. i tried to act calm and look composed but actually i was destroyed deep inside. i was wailing in my heart. I was hoping that the officer would have given me another chance.

I wish that i did some sort of begging thing... Asking the uniformed officer to re-do the test. from the beginning. But, what i did was... siting next to him. I took my bottle and gulped! I regret my inappropriate pride.

So, why dont i bring you guys to the scene.


That morning...abg ropie was surrounded by his students. Almost 10 of us. It was a distressing morning. I dint feel like eating. Pre-test syndrome i call it!

After a short briefing from my ex-cikgu..Then, my turn came to drive. I did all those 5 basic things. Moving here and there... With people outside watching... They were also the test takers..i guess.

Then i started the engine... after few seconds, It stopped. I tried...(at the same time, smiling to the watchers outside)... Stopped! I was thinking...Thats it! I failed. I could not even start the freaking car!!!

Then, i gave another shot. This time...the car moved. Yay!! My mind exclaimed!


So, i took the officer...slowly and carefully... And i could feel the excitement of passing the test. But, on the way, he saw that i dint even release the hand break...


Another breath taking mistake i did! That was the reason behind the difficult-to-start engine! But still this young officer gave me another chance.

Then...i maneuvered the car exactly like what had been taught. Sounds good huh!


But wait, the terrifying moment came! I was about to take a turn when i saw a big truck in front. I never encountered such problem in my previous classes! So, i was panicked. And not to blame the truck.. It was me... i just turned the car without changing the gear and the worst part...without even pressed the brake. So the car was so fast and i could not control it. I almost hit a stall by the road side.


Who would give me chance to pass the test....???! if i were the officer... i would juz kick the student out of the car! Since, he almost took my precious soul!

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?


I was waiting for my lecturer in a clinic when suddenly my eyes caught this poem pasted on the wall. I smiled when i read it. And i believe i would show the same reaction when u read the lines. Its so great and beautiful.

The way we teach the children actually does millions of things to them in the future. We practically molding them into our desired shape..Realize it or not!


So, my conclusion is... we better learn innumerable ways of handling a little kid. We have to assist them!

Exam Is Crawling Nearer!

Paediatric posting is famous for its danger. To succeed in this terribly scary posting, u have to do tons of things which are mainly reading and practicing stuff like examination and answering skills. My mother once told me, as boy i have to be brave. Better than a girl. But who could manage to eliminate his/ her fear in facing an exam... especially Paediatric examination.

I remember my first experience encountering a paediatric patient in my 3rd Year exam. That patient presented with multiple problems who actually invited sweats on my forehead! I could not even calm myself down.. since he had all those symptoms and expected findings... i could not bear of losing any of it!

But later, Thank to God... I managed to get important issues that examiners wanted. But, life is not something simple. We cannot keep expecting the same good thing repeating itself over and over again. Life is challenging. Not simple!

So, basically... this time. I do not know what am i expecting from the exam? People keep reminding me that targeting for something high is good... But, if u dont have anything... u shouldnt dream those things.

I mean..if u dont put any effort on revising and reading books... Please dont dream of gaining victory. Dreams has to be accompanied by hard work.

Btw.... I would like to wish my classmates a very good luck. Some say that 'luck' is unnecessary when we have skills

Beautiful Asians!!!

Once i lied my eyes on them.... I knew that my eyes did something good for sure.. They are all refreshing.. Their beauty is something undeniable.. and so tempting. Seeing once means...u need thousands repetitions.

Okay..first im gonna talk about a gorgeous woman from India... Everyone knows that India has millions of Miss worlds (isn't that exaggerating)! I am not gonna talk about aishwarya Rai cause im pretty sure..every guy knows her inside out!



Then..im gonna pick..Sonali Bendre...Who i think possesses more than enough. She is slim...pretty of course! Gorgeous...sexy... She looks damn sexy in sari... Shamelessly, i admit that im pretty into Indian Movies...since i grew up with all those movies... my sister is a big fan! Try to stare at her once...then u know what i mean...

The next lady is someone from Indonesia. She was so popular...but now, she has gone..doing sumting for her gud. She is now a lecturer in her own university. She is definitely stunning and attractive. She looks small in the TV. Her first appearance that took my heart was in 'Ada APa Dengan Cinta' She played the role effectively and i fell in love! lol

Here's a great shot of her!!!!!



Then, not to forget those beauties in Malaysia... She is popular for her role as a banshee! She is definitely fantastic and fabulous. She has gorgeous eyes!
Who is she...She is one and only...our Maya Karin...



Then, why dont we pay a visit to China where we have this Geisha... She is definitely not a Japanese but what she did in one of her English movies was brilliant. She looked sexy with those blue eyes which i guess artificial kind of thing! But she is absolutely having a good place in my eyes! She is pleasant and sweet. Let me introduce u to Zhang Zi yi!



We, Asians actually have enough ladies! Gorgeous..good looking and attractive. Believe it or not...Look around then u'll see!

I Wish To have a New camera!!!

Dough deprivation can actually invite thousands of jealousy. If u do understand what i'm saying. Just visit any blog, u'll be served with innumerable photos...I can see that starting a blog without camera means USELESS.

Why am I bravely giving out this statement??? I'm sure u could see that Blogs desperately need good pictures to be their companion. Still remember the cliche saying thing like 'Picture is worth a thousand words'..

So by deliberately fussy about all those submerging issues, i think i do need camera..to hit it big. Inundate my blog with not only words...but pictures. Wouldn't that be nicer!!!!!

But. like i said... Money is a big obstacle. *sighing... One day...God's will...i will have one... ya!! chaiyok!!

My new classmate!

this posting has been relocated to a new place...since the danger is coming!!

Sleep Deprivation

My eyes are swollen.. they are red and they are practically complaining...." we are tired!!!!!" But still i keep them awake. Energise them with caffeine which i considered toxic.

i have tons of thing in my mind. Flight of ideas, psychiatrist calls it. I want to write about things. It seems like my brain is hard-to-turn-off kind of brain.

The worst part is... in the morning, my eyes and body will run a riot. They would protest and make me bound to the bed even the time is up!
Then the subsequent consequence is failing in taking the bus. Sometimes, i resort to walk. Even the sun is burning up there. And its not gonna be a normal pace... im speeding up.

In the class... i wont look good and fine. My face is gloomy and my forehead shows 'bed' sign!! My eyes are forcefully opened...i look like a zombie...liveless.

Then, lecturers are giving thousands of new info which ought to be digested... but i am staring at him/ her blankly. Nothing goes in and nothing goes out! It's pretty useless!

I do realise what are the danger of being a nocturnal but still i could not stop myself to be one. Then, i need to go to my bed now! Before those impending threats become reality

aRE U rEaDY fOR gANg sTARZ

It was filled with giggles and guffaws. I recalled the moment when my house mates and i were attentively watching Gang Starz Season 2. I am not implying that we are gifted with fantastic voice...But those fellas did make us laugh out loud. Sorry for those who went for the audition.

But before I go any further, I would like to pat those candidates for willingly entertaining us. I know, it's absurd to go for audition when u have nothing in your voice. Nothing special I mean. But the courage and determination they've shown should be appreciated.

I wanted to comment on the judges. I was so upset when they eliminated some groups and even individuals for a physical reason. One of the judges asked a group of 'big' ladies to reduce weight.

He did explain the reason ... and it was for a health reason. I just could not accept that kind of excuse.

Another jaw-dropping incident was... the judges eliminated one lady for being a peng-kid! I know, it looks weird to have 0.5 in 1.0 (hopefully u understand)... But, she is good. I don't think they have rite to judge people! It was outrageous.

I have no idea how is the winner chosen in this competition... But i think the judges are not determining it. They still need us, watchers to vote. Why don't just let us decide who is suitable and who is not!

Lets take American Idol as an example... All those 'big' guys and ladies are still perfect for the competition and it doesn't hinder them to shine.

If the judges wanna say something (or even thousand of things)abt their vocal or their dance... Go ahead. We are all pretty sure those are their functions. U can be mean to the contestants... or u can be lenient. Its up to you. But, commenting their physical??? I don't think so! Have we forgotten the cliche... "Don't Judge The book by its cover"

I am sorry if im offending any body... But sometimes, i cant just let things slip off from my observation

MAS is starting their own Low Fares...

After few years of struggling taking Airasia flights, finally MAS has opened its' door for me. I never thought that MAS flights are something affordable. Can u imagine ... going back to Sabah will cost me around RM 600.00 when i can just resort to Airasia which claims about RM 200 to 300.

Thats a large sum of money. Considering that im not under any scholarship which gives my colleagues thousands! (Jealousy element is hidden) So, i remember one time when i took MAS flight... It was a journey from Labuan to my hometown. What i want to describe here is; the service was excellent!

Yeah, but my money paid for it! Frankly speaking, i agree with those awards received by MAS. i do believe they deserve it. But still i could not compare any of it with other country... Since i haven't flown anywhere outside Malaysia.

Im not saying that Airasia has bad services... its just that i do prefer MAS if the price is much cheaper. So the new announcement from Dato' Seri Idris is welcomed! And it sounds tempting to travel with MAS... Must be good.. gotta try it...

Here..i woudl like to congratulate MAS for their achievements and honestly im proud of it. I still listen complaints from passengers in the paper... but i guess its sumting that MAS can handle! Bravo!

I am talking about catching up after a disarray!

My mind has gone thousand miles. I have lost my steps and orderliness. Sometimes, its hard to pull ur self back from such gigantic mess!

So what am i thinking when im writing this post is that... am thinking about my study. I have been spending my weekend with nothing fruitful. They were all thrashes. I didn't read books, I didnt fill my blog... I did basically nothing. Sleeping... wasting time and be a total jerk!

I know... Ur therapist may say... Stop blaming yourself... and i do understand that pointing finger to urself would do nothing better. It makes things worst! But without any realization.... Nothing would have changed.

I need confidence in facing this.....!!!

Confidence is a MUST! Thats a sentence i learned form a song. I pretty sure that the sentence is definitely true! Anything u r doing... anywer u r going...u need confidence to back u up or even to start ur journey! Even a simple presentation needs courage!

I remember one time.... and it happens most of the time actually... i needed to stand up on a stage to present something about my friend in front of my seniors and my classmates. i was stammering and shivering even it was about 30 minutes to noon...

I have no courage in talking and expressing myself in front of people. If i dint join this medical school....i bet, i wud juz sit at the back of the classroom and rarely noticed by my lecturers. Im a coward. Even my 5-year-together classmates could chicken me out.

But, Medical school forces u to have courage in succeeding. u will be left far away if u dun steel ursef to face the unstoppable challenges.

So far i did fine with the courage and confidence thingy! not to say it smugly but thank to the Lord for His Mercy.

But, i still think that i need more courage in facing the upcoming battle. Let say, im dumped sumwer in the west..or aniwer in the world....wud i have a real braveness to voice out my opinion and my fruit of thought. i think i hvent reached that stage.

I cud not imagine being put in the same room with those from overseas. Those who have 'Ready' sign on their forehead. I conclude that, to be confident... I have to equip myself with knowledge and experience. Only those two major things could boost my confidence even im put sumwer in a big city.

If u have a working cerebrum..u can afford to be heard. Thats wut i believe.!

English is damn important...is it??

We keep arguing the same thing. It becomes an x-file issue...considered a petty issue nowadays... seems everybody is accepting that English is crucial in order to move forward and achieving wut we call as developed country. Yeah i know...!! Malaysia is moving forward...furthering to become an advanced country in the near future.

We mite hear people complaining of using a foreign language as the first language instead of second. People mite argue 'why do we have to adopt this penjajah language? wen we have our own mother tongue?!!' i do agree with all those points people have brought up about the usage of English.

Why Japan manage to survive and even becomes one of a giant country in the world. One of the well-known countries for its rapid development. They dont even need outsider's lnguage to help them thriving.

But... In Malaysia, we are totally different from Japan. Not that we are lousy or anything... its juz that, we dont have that much power to bring our own language forward and make it powerful and acceptable.

MAybe..Juz maybe...we dun have the courage to make things rite here. We dont work hard enough to make this real. I do realise that i love English but i keep reminding myself that worshiping this language should not be in my diary.

As malaysian, we have no choice (as wut i can see) We have to learn this language, by hook or by crook. We need to bring our nation forward. Then, after we have accomplished the first mission, introducing our culture and language should be our next target!

I believe, we are no different from the west and even from those Asian countries namely Japan and Korea!

Arent we all alergic to trash?!!!

A kid wud describe it as a yucky thing...Adult detests it the most... But flies and rats adore it...worship it... They even say 'Suka sangat!!' Together with all those curling maggots!

But i keep wondering why does the human nature have changed? From hating The trash to become loving it. Not literally loving! But it seems that thrash is not a real nuisance anymore...

Juz have a look on the pavement! they are kilos of thrash if it happens that u decide to collect them! I mean, cant these people think that the trash is not destined to be there. They have to be sumwer else...i believe...everyone knows wer is the appropriate place.

Do pay a visit to Warta in Selayang. u wud be surprised that there are people out there who can juz bear with all those rubbish besieging them. Not even feel intimidated by those pets... Crawling together with them!

I dont know wut happened to all those lessons our teachers have taught us... dustbin and rubbish are bosom friends. So juz dun separate the two of them! OkaY!

Shape our adolescents!!!

i juz had a session which taught me how to handle an adolescent. Not that the session was a hands-on session....it was juz basically a brief lecture...and the doctor said...it was an exposure...

aniwei..i thought, adolescent was a simple stage wer we all shud have passed it successfully. i dint see anything special in this stage. i left it without any remark.

but after the brief session with an expert....i decided that my adolescent was sumting bigger than huge. an adolescent can turn to become a refined adult or he/ she can juz turn to become a total messed up adult... wut determine those outcomes are their shape in this stage.

If they are handled in correct way, they wud become sum1 that can make the nation proud. But if they are left in limbo...helpless....unfortunately, they will become sum1 that we hardly recognize. are they from our lots or from sumone else's...

I never learnt that nurturing the youngsters wud be so difficult. could not imagine wen i start my own family and having kids. it wud be a titanic responsibility.

wut i learned there were:

1. Dont keep pressuring the kids especially wen they do nothing harmful

2. Learn on how to talk to those kids...not in their manner but in an understanding grown up's manner.

3. Understand the process of being an adolescent. let them choose but at the same time guide them.

4 fill them with knowledge that they ought to know....teach them abt life, danger and sex.

5. Be their friends and stop patronizing!

i think all those people out there should have learnt things before they settle down and have kids. Kids should get the best from their parents in order to actively grow!

I cant stand the fact that we keep having kids as young as ten turns to become a prostitute or sumting worst. Those kids are treasures for the country. They shud nt live for nothing.

On top of all those lessons, i believed that being non judgmental to people is a crucial entity in order to make this world a better place to live in. (Too many words i guess!!! ) Wutever they do is not for us to evaluate. the goodness or the worst part of it. If we mean to help, hands should we offer.... not insults! everybody does mistake aniwei...!

My Train trip

it hit my mind when i was abt to pay my tribute to my bed...thanking it for waiting. My experience on a train...so tempting to be discussed and shared with the world.

It happened in one unfortunate evening for a family. they entered the train where i was having a good seat with my cousin. we practically chatted and dint even care to surrender the seat. We were fortunate since we got in early.

But then, this family....they came with a baby who started to cry inconsolably. i recalled the train ambiance wasn't perfect for a small kid like him. He was crying and made all the train passengers looking at our direction (it happened that i was beside the baby)...

i offered my seat since i was the nearest to the baby's mother... so she sat and thanked me. but, my help wasn't a contribution that that little kid wanted. He still cried his heart out. And at that time, i could see that all those seated and even standing passengers were worried and concerned...

Some suggested...'mungkin dia lapar tu kak...' and sum said from my side 'he must have been frightened by us...grown ups'...and sum1 offered 'Maybe he is sleepy'.. But all those opinions were fruitless. They mother tried to do her best but the kid was still out of control.

Then, everyone looked distressed...not that they were angry or anything...wut i could see from their face was 'concern' and i was happy to see it!

Thank to the lord...after a few minutes of impossibly-stopped cry, that little man came to a halt...Maybe he was exhausted. And wut made me feel so happy was....all those passengers were smiling at each other..including me...we were so happy and we started to play peek-a-boo with the kid...and he granted us with a smile..and evryone laughed...even those who stood far away from the family


i was so happy to see that we were all in there...Chinese, Malay and indian...Malaysians...were so concerned about a kid...which came from nowhere...
That created a sheer smile on my face...

Why do we have to fite?!!!

I am called to write abt this since i recalled a brief conversation with a stranger a while ago. He was asking me abt the fite that we have in the country...wut he meant was abt the political issue that getting hot...

he definitely caught a wrong person to discuss abt this stuff...im not gud at it and i dun really have a good appetite in discussing it. But, wut i deduced from the conversation was 'Stop the fite'

I have no idea whether there was any fite in our political field nowadays but i see it as a big war is happening. (sorry if i do exaggerate) I mean, every hour in the news i keep seeing abt those coalition saying stuff abt their rival. i mean, wont they call it for an end...all these crap are nauseating me. seriously...!!

Wut i hate the most is that.... The fact that our PM is being attacked... i dunno why dun all these people let him live and govern the country...correcting all the mistakes that he and the coalition had done...(if there was any)

i definitely agree with NST...wen one of its issue was saying that wut happened in the previous general election should juz be forgotten and the win party should have worked for Rakyat...

Stop all those finger-pointing behaviors... We wont solve any problem with 'em.. wut rakyat needs are peace and a good people to govern the country... Not those who love fighting

Reading is not our culture

Reading is known to be a good method of gaining knowledge. Reading can be done anywhere....any place that u have in mind...but wut i have observed here in Malaysia, we dun have the same spirit like those in overseas

Im not implying that those fellas are better than us..not at all...but, they have this attitude which i respect. those whites..and even black...they are rarely seen without books tightly gripped in their hands.

Some people might say that guys dun like books. They are allergic to it. I could not give a nod to this idea as sign of agreement. Guys or gurls are equal (to the some extent) Books are not meant only for gurls or guys who are gurlish!

My opinion is based on my observation. I could see a guy...with shoulder-level hair were attentively reading a book...he dint appear to be a sissy or sum1 that we mite call gurly!

But this scenario is different in Malaysia. When u take a public transport... do count how many bus-takers are reading...there hardly any. wut they do basically staring at the skyscraper building which they have seen for million times. Enjoying the view of our beloved city has no harm doing...its juz that we still have tons of fruitfull stuff to be digested in the book

Im in an agreement if sum1 wud say that i've juz seen those guys in the bus...there are lot of Malaysian who are reading....but not showing off...but, how many are they? 10 percents wud be my bet and i still consider its too high!

Im not implying that i do read a lot...wut i want to convey here is that, we as Malaysians should do something... Something that would benefit ourself and our country, generally.

2020 is coming and we seem to be drifted away from the track that we should be taking. Be prepared for the new breakthroughs..InsyaAllah we'll succeed

Dreaming is good

My endless dreams.

I read something about a dream in paper today. ‘Reaching the star’...that was the big title. It is a book written by the late brother of Malaysian astronaut. Reaching stars sounds like an absolute dream...an impossible dream. Okay, lets not go into details of the book, the stars or anything pertaining to astronomy here. I am here to talk something sweet about dream, my dreams.... to be exact.
Then, here i want to skip all those obsolete dreams such as owning most-expensive cars, palace-like house and endlessly profitable business or any stuff like those. I need something fresh, something different. Yes i do need those but hey! They are outdated to be discussed.
Top in my list is to spend my off-time travelling to those beautiful countries. Beautiful here does not mean skyscraper buildings or maybe high tech subway train. I define beautiful as a country which teaches about real life is. It doesn’t need to be a well developed country...any country in this world will do.
I am aiming Indonesia and India. Then, some of people may ask what with these countries. Anything to do with the ‘I’ letter? Nope! My reason is that i want to see the real world in India and Indonesia. I heard difficulties and challenges they are facing. I am not pretty sure what is happening in those 2 Asian countries but i believe there are tons of thing to be learned.
Then, don’t forget Rome and Egypt with their great historic remaining. I could not deny that old building does have great attraction to me. Creepy as it looks, they have thousands of unrevealed secrets...i guess. Then counties like Fiji and New Zealand are undeniable for their beauty.
So that was my first dream. Something sounds nice and fun but to carry it out, i guess it needs money and strength. Hell yeah! I need those.
Then, my second dream is to live somewhere where no one would even know me without me introducing myself. I know it’s eerie to live in such situation but when you give it a second thought then you’ll realise that this is something great. The house is lively and looks soooo homely. A place where i can feel the absolute secured.
The ridiculous part of my dream is that i love to move on. From one place to another. I know it sounds a bit distressing to some but that’s all about preference right?! So, some may ask me the reason behinds all this. My answer is ‘I don’t know’

Recalling my family!

Its not something that I want to remember. The day where all my family went off, taking their own route. Not together but DIFFERENT. But all those memories before the ‘terrible’ incident were definitely sweet and worthy of remembering. The smiles, tiredness, jokes, foods, movies and kids were the keywords for those reminiscences.
Okay, let me start from the point when i start to realize what was happening. That time, my long-time-no-see-aunty came with his lovely son and daughter. Then, i was so sure the reason for their visit. It was a good-bye visit. My aunt, who we always call resembles to someone in TV... pretty and has a great smile. She came with foods in her hands. Muffins were my favourite out of all.
Then, we had her out-of-control son who loved me the most out of all his uncles and aunties, of course. He kept asking me to bring him here and there... wanted me to keep hugging him. For God’s sake kid! However, he was such a lovely kid. Then, my pen wants to write something on my aunt’s daughter... someone that i knew...so small and childish. A girl who could not wipe her own tears now grew to become a young fair lady. She looked ready for the world. Nothing could stop her. God must bless her.
The next day, my cousin with his new wife visited us. The visit looked something fun and meaningful. Yeah! It did. But, deep in my heart, i know that the visit meant i need to say good bye to them. This time, my attention went to my 2 young nephews. The eldest was definitely handsome and loved my laptop. Wanted to play with it. Cute huh?! The youngest was hard. I did not even try to separate him from his caring mother. Cuddle? Nope, i’ve forgotten.
They went back early in the morning without even taking bath. Something compulsory in my family. But, the end they still looked sweet and energetic heading home.
My serious attention went to my lovely niece. Someone cute and sweet. She was definitely cute. No one can deny the fact. Seriously. She didn’t like me that much. Not that i was harsh or something, but hell yeah... i kept pressuring her. Kissing her! Temptation dude! She could speak now, something that looked impossible when i went back for Raya. She could dance, hop and even ridicule her uncle.
Then, my strong and well-built young hero...son of my brother. This kid was definitely a ‘mess’. He did piss me off sometimes. With his weight around 30 Kg... i could not even bear his punch. A single hit of his fits, could invite tears especially when he hit the correct place. He was definitely a kick-my-ass nephew.
Comes my niece. This 8 year-old daughter of my sister was definitely growing so fast. I could not even recall the last time i saw her crawling. She was gorgeous, her auto-coloured hair, her tanned skin and her eyes. Those were her attractions. She was good in study but she had been through a lot...things that sounded unbearable to even me. God blesses her.
Then, her friend which is also a niece of mine. Also an 8 year-old girl, kept claiming herself a beautiful grown up lady. She was absolutely caring for her 2 younger sisters. One of my nieces that could shine. She hated brushing her teeth and sometimes could present with different attitude, something that i could not even explain.

It’s time to stop floating.

For centuries, i never realised that i was practically floating in my own world... didn’t see the true world and the upcoming challenges. I could say that i was dreaming...having an endless sleep which brought me somewhere...a place that didn’t suit me at all.
In the dreaming process, i was actually thinking that i was someone else. I thought i was someone superior, standing atop my lots. Most of the time, i would sit there, laughing and smiling...self-sufficient and complacent i must say.
Then, one day reality dragged my ass out of my lovely dream. I am awake now...but i didn’t deny that anytime along the course i can just fall down to the same state like i did. But, deep in my heart i am grateful that i finally realised the whole thing. Life is not something that i can enjoy all the time. Beside those good things, we still have bad sides and threats. Like in movies, there are more bad guys than the heroes.
I remember one of those days...dreaming days i should call them. I proudly acted like someone that i was not. Saying all those lies and impossibilities. I managed to pull some of friends of mine to be on the same track. The worst part was i did successfully disguise to be someone that i didn’t even recognise. People looked at me with shine in their eyes...worshipping and saluting.
But those ‘great’ responses that i got from people made me running farther that i did previously. Far away from my real life. It seemed too hard to back from the disarray...but i am trying.
I realised the most important thing in life is HONESTY. I can be anyone i like...anyone as everyone. I know that i’m a great actor. People might believe...but what hurts me the most is feeling of being lied. Lied by my own selves.
Being honest makes me believe that anyone can accept me as i am. Once they hate me, meaning they hate the real of me. So no hard feelings...no offence taken.